When we talk about worthiness we focus on the person who doesn’t feel worthy, encouraging that person to let go of those feelings, to uncover the core beliefs that are blocking that person from feeling worthy. We try and help people to “feel” love and happiness, to open to the flow of love, but one thing that occurs to me is we don’t very often talk about the fact that people on a regular basis, sometimes daily, are overtly told they are not worthy.
What do you do when you are told so frequently that you are not worthy, either in a subtle, back-handed way, or overtly?
I am not sure I have an answer. I am not sure that I can say that there is a simple method of overcoming the grief and hurt of being treated badly so routinely. What we need to remember is that this is abuse, and people who have been abused, which sadly is a large number of people, become accustomed to the abuse, it becomes the norm.
A sad truth is that many people who are abusive are out of control and often unaware of their abuse pattern. They are frequently disconnected from their body, and from this out of balance place, they lose a sense of what is right and wrong, how to be kind and loving without hurting others.
The person being abused can seem to be bobbing on water believing the person abusing them; their situation is not grounded and there seems to be nothing to rely on as they work on turning their situation around.
I see people who look like they are making great progress who all of a sudden disappear below the water, and often the ”sinking” doesn’t happen relative to the degree of abuse, but instead the person “sinks” due to the exhaustion of long term abuse. Simply put, it wears you down.
- I want to say, leave the situation.
- I want to say, set boundaries to clearly communicate that you won’t tolerate it anymore.
- I want to say, you don’t deserve it.
- I want to say, it’s time to find the people who will honor and cherish you.
- I want to say, move the abuse and negativity out of your energy field – it isn’t yours.
- I want to say, you can find your footing on your true path, I know you can.
- I want to say, gather the parts of yourself together, I will help you. You CAN move forward.
- I want this for all those who have been in this situation. I really do.
Being out of the abusive situation is key to healing and reclaiming a sense of worthiness.
We can’t control the behaviors of others. We can only do what we can do. Abuse makes it hard to think straight, hard to stay in the body, and hard to release the embedded belief that we have done something wrong.
What I will say is that love helps. Love and acceptance of ourselves and our choices. Loving ourselves, and building up the courage to set the daily intention not to allow ourselves to be abused.
I am writing this blog for everyone who has been in abusive situations, but also for those who are witness to others in abusive situations.
Give them space. Space, love and acceptance is what they need, and when the right time comes they will do what they need to do to reclaim themselves and truly feel worthiness.